5 posts tagged “love”

I recently heard a message from the Pastor of the church that my son & daughter in law attend. His quote of the day goes something like this...

It's not the worst thing to have tried and failed. The worst thing is not to have tried at all.

As I reflect on the end of the year and where I am in employment and in life in general, I have come to a couple of conclusions.

1. A few years ago I tried to become police dispatcher and succeeded to some degree, but I left after not completing all of my certifications. Why? Because I was just too slow at performing the tasks required to be really good at the job. Did I try my hardest? Oh, yes I did. Did I fail? Yes again. Do I feel bad about that? Sometimes, yet I do believe that God is in control and led me away from that job to another and then finally to where I am.
2. I look at the lives of my sons Derek & Colin and see that, even though they grew up in a house that had their brother Christopher hogging most of the emotional and physical attention of their parents, they both turned out to be good men. I think that their natural inclinations towards being gentle with others who are in distress is a great thing. Both are highly creative and tend to march to the beat of a drummer previously unknown to the masses. Have I failed them in some ways? Sure. Have I tried to give them the tools to be Godly men? Yes. Did I fail in that? No, they will serve our Lord for the rest of their lives because they maybe saw something in me that drives me to want to serve God all of my days. Are they loving, caring guys? You bet.
3. I'm now in a job that probably best suits my capabilities. I have to be a self starter, the deadlines are not harsh, but are timely. I like the people that I work with, in coming back to a company that I worked with for a decade, it sometimes feels like a comfortable pair of shoes to be back here. In quite a different capacity, with more responsibility, yet with the freedom to do things the way that I would like them and the opportunity to treat people the way I would have like to have been treated by one of the "bosses".
4. This last year my relationship with Terry took a surprisingly pleasant turn. There was substantial growth in understanding my needs and her needs. We took a class on relationships and found some very interesting and wonderful things about each other. I have come to appreciate her so much more and I attempt (and fail mostly) to find things that will please her and just do them without any fanfare. The more I can become proficient in the execution of these tasks, the more I will truly be a servant husband as the Lord wishes me to be.
5. My health. In this past month or so, I have had a very serious upturn in my blood pressure, headaches that I thought would never go away, trips to the hospital and doctors & blood sucking labs. I pray that God will use these trials that I am going through with my health to improve me as His man. I pray for my healing; that it would be swift and perhaps I would even find out the cause of some of these problems.

In all things will I give thanks to my Father in heaven, that He would bring me to be the man that He wishes me to be and that I will do the things that pleases Him. I wish to hear His voice and sing His praises with clarity, love & joy.

Read this in an email and thought I would post it up here for anyone to see.
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One day, when I was a freshman in high school,

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd"

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks".

They really should get lives.

" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and myfriends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came!, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"
He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.

So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

" Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift.

As I posted about a week ago, my mom passed away. She was almost 69 years old and had been living with colon cancer, diabetes & hypertension, but she ended up choking on food. They couldn't clear her airway and that was her end.

I must say that her influence on me as a young child was great. She was one of the first people who ever talked with me about Jesus and how much He could mean to my life. I am now a very committed Christian because of the Vacation Bible School, Sunday School and Bible memory verses that she introduced me to.

I'm afraid that her thinking became muddled as she began to drink after the death of my grandparents in the early 70's. At one point she drank herself into a coma and we thought that we had lost her then. I do not wish to be callous, but I have done my grieving for the last 10 years or so and thus this is more of a closure than a tragic loss.

I have felt like garbage for not spending very much time with mom in the last few years, but every time I was with her it seemed to depress me more and more. I saw her for the final time at my son's wedding in April and she had a wonderful day and enjoyed the wedding and reception.

I wish to thank my sister Kelly for making almost all of the arrangements for the burial of our mom. She was quite a trouper and was very organized.

I look forward to getting together with my family for a memorial service *slash* family reunion in the next few weeks. I regret that my dad was not able to be there for my mom's final resting placement. Dad is in England and couldn't get back due to business commitments. Mom & dad have been divorced for a while.

Let me just put this on the record: I think that my dad is a real man of honor...in that he made a promise to my grandparents 50 years ago that he would take care of my mom. Even though she couldn't stay married to him and she drank herself silly, my dad did everything that could be expected and then some to try and make mom's life a little better. I learned how to be a better man because of the example of my dad.

Mom, you will be missed. I loved you the best that I could and I know that you are in the arms of God now and that can only be a much happier place than the awful quality of life that you had these past years.

Tonight my Mom passed away.
She was 69 years old and had been living in assisted care for a number of years.
She live with many handicaps for many years and yet raised my sister and me along with the help of my Dad.
My Mother played piano beautifully, even though she was legally blind.
My heart is somewhat heavy, because the last time I saw Mom was at Derek & Amy's wedding in April.

I loved her.

I just saw this quote

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter
 and those who matter don't mind."  - Dr. Seuss

Wow, what a nice perspective. I spent a good portion of my life not saying what I thought or suffering through problems when I did, that it brings me to my point.

That is, be true to yourself. Love those around you, have mercy on those who have harmed you, but do not be apologetic when you do the thing you think is right and it offends someone else. You can be above reproach in what you do and say, but there will always be someone who wishes to put you down instead of offering rapprochement.

I'm looking forward to the day when there is no more strife and tears are gone. But, until then, I will try to live like Jesus did and forgive those who mistreat me and love those who are unlovable.